


The Voicemail of Steven Universe

by orphan_account



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Aftermath, Angst, F/M, Five Stages of Grief, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, One-sided Conversation, Steven Bomb 6 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-04 14:43:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10993059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Steven Universe. Sorry I missed you, I’m probably out on a mission. Leave a message, and uh, I’ll get back to you soon. Love you, bye!”After he was taken, Connie would call Steven, if only to hear his voice one more time. Sometimes, she left messages.





	1. Denial

Connie held the phone to her ear, listening to the tones as it searched for a connection. It wouldn’t find one, of course. Everyday human technology couldn’t travel past the solar system, let alone an entire galaxy. 

She had to admit, that even with the glaring futility of it, a small part of her hoped that somehow, someway, he would pick up. Maybe he would say, “Hey Connie, what’s up? I’m just hanging out on the beach right now, you should come over and we could jam together!” Then she could tell him about how everyone thought he had gone off to Homeworld, turned himself in, even. What a silly thought, they’d laugh together. That’s ridiculous! Why would he do that? That couldn’t happen, he’d never do that to them!

Maybe she would wake up and find out that this was all just a bad dream. She glanced down to her hands. All ten fingers, no abnormalities. She press her free hand to her leg. It stayed solid and firm against her thigh. 

Reality checked out. 

She was about to hang up and forget about calling when the phone clicked. A pause, then—

_“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Steven Universe.”_ Connie’s breath hitched when Steven’s voice rang out clearly from the speaker. _“Sorry I missed you, I’m probably out on a mission. Leave a message, and uh, I’ll get back to you soon. Love you, bye!”_

The first time she heard his voice since… since what happened. He sounded so… happy. So carefree, in the recording. It was heartbreaking, really. 

She didn’t realized that she had forgotten to end the call until the phone beeped in her ear, signalling the beginning of the recording.

“...Oh, hi, I guess,” Her voice was shaky as she talked, uncertain of what to say. What could she say? It wasn’t as if he was going to hear this. It wasn’t as if he was… 

“I-I didn’t mean to call— No, no I did. That’s a lie. I think I just wanted to hear your voice or maybe some _stupid_ part of me thought that you’d pick up,” She laughed softly. It sounded hollow. “That you’d say everything was going to be okay. It’s-It’s not, obviously…” She felt a lump in her throat start to form, so she decided to switch subjects.

“I just woke up from a nap. I’ve been sleeping a lot lately. Well, for about a week, since you, you know.” 

She still wouldn’t, couldn't bring herself to admit what happened. Admitting it happened would just confirm it, make her realize all her ideas that _No, this couldn’t be happening, there’s no way this could be happening_ were just hopeful delusions of someone torn up with grief.

Connie sighed into the receiver. This was pointless; She was just talking to herself. “...Actually, I’ll just hang—” The recorder clicked off. "—up" 

With a sigh, she ended the call and let the phone fall into her lap, feeling unreal.

This couldn't be happening.


	2. Depression

The realization set in only a few days ago. For the Gems, it had set in the moment the door closed on Steven. But for Connie, it took a little longer. 

She had cried for days once she finally realized that this wasn’t just some cruel dream made up by her subconscious, inconsolable to her parents. Mom and Dad let her stay home from school, thankfully. They offered her food often (all of which she refused) but other than checking in on her occasionally, they stayed out of her way and let her grieve. What else could they do to comfort their daughter who had lost her best friend? (to an intergalactic war, nonetheless)

Sure, they were working to get him back. Of course they were. Pearl, Peridot, and the rest of the Crystal Gems had been working for days, nonstop, on a ship to get him back. But what if they were too late? What if by the time they got there, he was already… well… It was something she heavily considered: All this work being for nothing. 

She spent most of her days lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking of past days they spent together. 

_He’s gone._

Days spent reading on the beach, enjoying the latest Spirit Morph Saga novel. The cool ocean breeze on their faces as Connie read aloud, Steven listening intently.

_He’s never coming back._

Days spent chatting at the Big Donut, or sharing ghost stories with the warmth of a campfire fighting off the chill of the night. 

_He’s dead._

She had told herself that she wouldn’t call again. It was pointless. It would only make the pain of losing him worse. The tears would only start again. And yet, here she was: sitting on her bed, Steven’s number already punched into her phone. 

Taking a deep, calming breath, she pressed dial and waited for it to go to voicemail. As expected, it did.

 _“...Leave a message and uh, I’ll get back to you soon. Love you, bye!”_ Steven’s prerecorded message finished and the phone beeped.

“H-hey Steven,” Connie sniffed. “Y-you’re really gone, huh? Off to Homeworld, to face the Diamonds and… whatever it is they’re planning.”A lump grew in her throat as her next thought formed in her mind. A quiet cry escaped her mouth, a leak in the dam that held back her emotions.

Then, the dam broke. 

“O-oh, God, Steven. They’re going to kill you, aren’t they? They’re going to kill you, or shatter you, or whatever it is that Gems do.” Her eyes began to burn. A sensation she was oh so familiar with by now. “What if they torture you, Steven? What if you’re already dead and I’m just talking to a ghost? I-I don’t think I could—” Her voice broke, replaced by tearful sobs. Unable to find any more words, she pressed end and set the phone down on the bed. 

She had been right, she shouldn’t have called. It only made the pain worse.


	3. Bargaining

For what was probably the third time that day, Connie stared at her phone in her hands, finger hovering over Steven’s contact. She still didn’t know why she was calling. It wasn’t comforting to leave the messages. It only made the pain worse, like putting hand sanitizer on a paper cut. 

(If you could possibly compare losing your only friend to getting a papercut)

And yet, she still found herself dialing his number regularly. 

Mom had brought it up once; Connie quickly shut down the conversation with a quick “I just like hearing his voice.” 

Maybe that was it. Maybe she just liked hearing his prerecorded voice. 

She had a dream about him last night. She was sure it wasn’t actually Steven, though. Not really. He had been too calm, not worried at all. If it was really him, he would have told her that he was okay, that he was trying to find a way back, that he was sorry.

Maybe he would answer this time and tell her those things for real. 

She pressed dial. 

_“...and uh, I’ll get back to you soon. Love you, bye!”_

“Hey, Steven. It’s me again. Who else would call you so much when she knew that you wouldn’t answer?” 

A pause. 

“I… had a dream about you. Last night, actually. We were sitting on the beach, just talking. It was nice, actually. But, it wasn’t you, obviously. I knew it wasn’t you because you were too happy for it to be the real you. We talked about comic books, and music, and that new book series you love so much. The, uh, Jupiter Trilogy, right? Yeah, well, all that just seemed too worry free for someone who had gotten abducted to talk about. 

“I wish it had been you. Then maybe, you’d be able to tell me everything would be okay and that you weren’t dead, or dying… or something. Do something to let me know you’re okay, please? I know you can enter dreams — you did that with Kiki, right? — and you jumped into Lars’ body once. God, it sounds so morbid but, could you steal my body, or enter my mind? Let me know that you’re okay? 

“Is there some protocol I have to follow to have that happen? Do I have to be asleep for it to work? Or maybe like, I have to meditate and clear my mind. Yeah, that must be it. You’re probably trying right now to contact me, or something, and here I am, getting in the way by talking so much. I’m gonna try meditating, like how Garnet does, and then maybe I can finally talk to you…” 

She hung up, and then spent the next few hours trying to clear her mind as much as possible. It was going pretty well but… Still nothing from Steven. 

It had to be something she was doing. She wasn’t trying hard enough, she had the wrong strategy, or… 

It had to be her, right?


	4. Anger

She started going back to school last week. It was in the middle of a math lesson when she realized, in a fit of clarity: This wasn’t her fault. The rest of the class, she thought about how she had spent the past few weeks. 

The past few weeks spent feeling sorry for someone who didn’t even think to consider how his family would feel. 

The past few weeks spent wondering what she was doing wrong, what was wrong with _her_.

Why hadn’t Steven found her in her dreams yet? Why didn’t he do something to tell her he was okay? Why was she feeling so awful for someone who couldn’t even care enough to think about what this would do to his family? She wasn’t the one to do this… to off herself pretending that it could save anyone. 

A small, rational part of Connie reasoned that he could already be dead, or maybe he had no time to sleep on Homeworld. However, after weeks of feeling nothing but depression and desperation, her newfound anger was a welcome emotion.

When she got home, she dropped her backpack off in the main foyer, ignored her mom’s hellos and welcomes, and immediately went to her room. She dialed the number—No, she _punched_ the number into the phone, ready to tell that boy off. 

(Again, a small, rational part of Connie told her that this would only lead to more trouble. She ignored it.)

Waiting for the call to go to voicemail was agonizing.

_“...and uh, I’ll get back to you soon. Love you, bye!”_

She started speaking almost immediately. “Yeah, well, do you really? Do you really love me, Steven? _God!_ ” She groaned in frustration, “How could you do this to the Gems, to your dad? You weren’t there when we told him.” She laughed bitterly. “Of course you weren’t, you decided to go and play martyr for the Earth. He’s heartbroken, Steven. First your mom, and now you!

“NO, no, you know what? I’m done feeling sorry for you! I’m done being so upset about this! You got yourself into this mess, you can get yourself out. You don’t need— don’t _deserve_ my pity.

“And what about me, huh? What happened to us being Jam Buds, facing our problems together? I trained for this, to protect you, to fight by your side. And the moment that you need me, that we actually have to fight side by side, you abandon me! 

“What were you thinking? This has got to be the stupidest thing you’ve ever done, Steven Universe!” 

Having run out of steam, she took a moment to breathe. What she had said began to sink in, and her stomach dropped. What was she _doing?_

“Oh god, Steven… I-I didn’t mean, I shouldn’t of called—I’m sorry. I hope you don’t hear this. Any of this, really. I’ll just hang up… I’m so sorry.” 

She set the phone down gently on her bedside table. She… needed time to think.


	5. Acceptance

One ring.

Two.

She had to apologize.

Three.

Even if Steven wouldn’t hear.

Four.

God knows how those past voicemails will make Steven feel if— _When_ he listens to them.

Click.

 _“Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of Steven Universe. Sorry I missed you, I’m probably out on a mission. Leave a message, and uh, I’ll get back to you soon. Love you, bye!”_

She started off her message with a sigh, then, “I’m… sorry. I think I get it now, why you had to go and, y’know… Turn yourself in.” She grabbed the comforter, feeling the soft fabric between her fingers. “And god, I knew you cared, Steven. I knew you cared so much, but I guess, I never really thought about it.” She glanced to her window, watching the stars glisten in the twilight. “Hopefully your sacrifice won’t be for nothing—” 

Another beep sounded in her ear, startling her into silence.

No! The recording couldn’t end there! She had to tell him, she had to let him know that she finally understood _why_. Why he did it, why he left them. She pulled back the phone to redial, but saw that no, the call hadn’t ended. Then why…?

 _“...Hello? Connie?”_ A soft voice came through the speaker, barely audible and crackling with static.

No, it couldn’t be. No, she had to be dreaming, or hallucinating, or something. Maybe she finally cracked, broke down from the stress of it all. Still, she rushed to put the phone back to her ear. “Steven?!” 

_“Oh, Connie!”_ Steven’s voice spoke, and Connie could practically feel the relief in his voice. _“It is you! We’re just about to enter the atmosphere, but— ”_

“Steven, is that really you? I-it’s been weeks!” 

There was a sigh over the phone. Connie could tell how exhausted he must’ve been from that alone. _“Y-yeah, I know. I’m really sorry, it was just—No, go the left, Topaz. Yeah, over there.”_

Connie adjusted her grip on her phone, clutching it tightly. “Topaz? Wasn’t that the Gem that took you away?” 

_“Oh, yeah! Topaz is with us, but don’t worry, she helped us escape! She’s really cool, actually, but… Listen, we’re going to land at the Temple first and I—_

“No!” Connie interjected, surprising herself, even. “C-Could you, maybe, come over here first? To my house, I mean. I just… I really need to make sure that this is really happening, and that I haven’t just gone crazy,” she ended with an awkward laugh, a lazy attempt to add some humor. 

Steven didn’t laugh, instead choosing to take her request seriously. _“Yeah, okay. Topaz, change of course: We’re going to Connie’s house. I’ll show you, just a second.” And just like that, a knot of anxiety and grief that sat in her stomach for weeks had vanished._

“W-wait, really?” He’s… actually coming over? After weeks of feeling absolutely awful, of feeling like she’s stuck on a rollercoaster of grieving, Steven’s on his way? Right now? For the first time in forever, really, she felt like she could cry tears of joy.

_“Of course! I, uh, heard all of those voicemails… ”_

“Oh.” 

_“Yeah…”_

“Steven, I wasn’t… I wasn’t thinking clearly when I said all of that stuff. I wish you hadn’t heard that...” Memories of what she had said, said to him specifically over the weeks, surfaced. She grimaced. God, what was she thinking? 

_“Hey now, it’s okay, don’t worry. There was… some stuff that I needed to hear, anyway. But uh, we’re almost to your house, we can talk then.”_

She nodded wordlessly, then realized that he wouldn’t be able to see that. “Y-yeah,” she said with a slight sigh. 

_“Connie?”_

“Mhm?” 

_“I love—”_

“No! No, just…” She put a hand to her face. For the nth time that week, she asked herself: _What was she thinking?_ “Just… wait ‘til you’re here? In person?”

_“Yeah, okay. I can do that.” ___

____

Connie smiled. “Thanks. See you soon?” One last confirmation. 

____

_“See you soon.”_ He hung up after that, and Connie pocketed her phone quickly. 

____

_He’s back,_ a mantra filled her mind as she ran downstairs. _He’s back, he’s back, he’s back!_

____

“Connie!” Her mom scolded from somewhere in the kitchen, as she saw her daughter trip on the last stair, barely catching herself in time.

____

_“I’msorrybuthe’sbackMomhe'sback!”_ She yelled back as she threw the front door open and ran onto the porch, just in time to see an oblong shape descend from the clouds. 

____

The ship, dark blue in color, landed on the street with a thud. While Connie’s heart raced with anticipation to finally see her long lost friend (friend… something she resolved to change someday,) she couldn’t help but feel thankful that the traffic that day was virtually non-existent. Connie was aware of her mom walking outside to stand next to her, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the ship that currently harbored Steven. 

____

There was a white glow in the shape of a square on a side of the ship. The light increased in intensity until the square opened up and fell to the ground, creating a ramp and an entrance.

____

And… there he was. Lars and Topaz stood behind him, but she could only focus on him. 

____

Steven. Steven, who sacrificed himself so she could escape, who took on the responsibility of his mother’s actions, who had been willing to die for the sake of the Earth. 

____

He stepped onto the ramp slowly, looking so, so worn down and tired, and yet, elated. Lars and Topaz followed. 

____

Tears overtook her vision as she ran to greet him, pulling him into a tight hug. He reciprocated, wrapping his arms around her.

____

Just for a second, Steven pulled away from the hug to look at Connie. 

____

“Connie,” he said, smiling, “I love you.” 

____

She pulled him back into the hug, whispering, “I love you too, you jerk. Never do that to us again.” 

____

“I promise you, I won’t.”

____

No one would ever take this boy away from her again.

____


End file.
